Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i've created a new STD.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
