OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
