we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
