I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
false alarm, still single
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
