woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
