I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
