accomplished twins. life is a go
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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