Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
