your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
