I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
