Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
