i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Of course I have a pirate flag
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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