You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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