got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
