'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
