So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So many bounce houses so little time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
