rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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