It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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