Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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