nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
