it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
