Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
