He had one of those small greek statue penises
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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