I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
