Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
