their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
