One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
