Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
