in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
