if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
