I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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