i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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