I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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