My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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