At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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