Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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