Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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