oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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