Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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