So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
