is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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