your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
