and you said cock pushups were impossible
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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