Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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