I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
