you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
