So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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