big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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