i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
