thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
