I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
