i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
