I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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