He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
