party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize