thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
