No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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