just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
