Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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