I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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