you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
