You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
